1 is 1; but 2 is like 10
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Now, before you get your panties in a wad, I KNOW that only children are no piece of cake. I know that you still face all the challenges as Mothers with multiple children face. I understand that you are still overworked, underpaid,and unappreciated, like the rest of us. I've never once seen any of my friends with only children have time to sit around and eat bon bons. That's not what I'm implying. I get all of that. I know its true. When I only had 1, I was fatigued, stressed, and had an extreme case of Mommy brain. I had all the same issues that I have now, but I could at least try to focus all of my attention on my 1 child. I knew that my child was getting my undivided attention. But as I thought my heart could not grow to accommodate another child, to my amazement it did. I also thought to myself, "Hey, if I can handle one..how hard can two be?" Common rookie mistake of tempting the fates. That is what I thought..until I was slapped in the face with the reality that I had to juggle a newborn and a toddler, multiply my diaper duty drastically, potty train while simultaneously trying to breastfeed, one's learning to assert her independence and the other one is completely dependent on me, which means chasing one while dragging the other along. I had to try and coordinate nap times, feeding schedules, Little Gym, ballet, Kindermusik, and schedule bath and bed times around the same time. To exacerbate the situation, absolutely everything I had to do for the newborn , I had to match or top for the toddler. She was having some regression issues. I had to push a double stroller, carry a car seat while holding, what can only be called, a child leash on my toddler. I had all my balls up in the air and was just waiting for them to come crashing down on top of my head. The fun is still happening. The difference , you see, between 1 and 2+ is this; with 1 you have all these duties and standards and you can focus all of your time and energy on that. You will not have a life of your own but your child's needs will, for the most part, be met. When you add another child to the mix, you have to divide your time and your attention. Your love will double but the rest will have to be divided. This is compounded by an extreme case of Mommy guilt because you always feel like one of your balls is dropping and you don't want your child to pay the price. I mean seriously, who wants to be fodder for future therapy sessions? So, when I say 1 is 1 but 2 is like 10, what I mean is its the hardest job that you'll ever love. With each child, we loosen our grip on some of our balls and some of our sanity. Unfortunately, the more balls that are in the air, the easier they are to drop.
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