Goodbye to Goodbyes

Tonight, when the big guy had to leave us bound back for his hole (his work apartment) Bella and Gabs followed him out to his car and jumped inside to "inspect" it. I was on the stoop, as always, watching on. I refuse to walk out to the car to say goodbye, it just makes it harder.

Bella, walks back and says," I just needed to smell the car!"
Me:"Why?"
Bella: "To get me through.."
Me: "What do you mean?"( I seriously wasn't sure where she was going with this)
Bella: "To get me through without crying!"

And with that, I took a deep breath and so did the big guy, and we both held back our own tears at our little girl's stiff upper lip mentality and little breaking heart on the inside. What an awful lesson for someone who is barely 5 years old to have to learn, little lone know and deal with. This whole economy and living apart during the week situation is for the birds. But on a positive note, the big guy has an interview for a permanent job. It will eventually require a move if he gets the job but at least it will allow us all be together again like a family and we will finally be able to say goodbye to all of these goodbyes. For now, we pray and hope for the best.